One day in a land far far away, further than Winnipeg, there lived a girl named Ellen. Ellen was very beautiful and ugly and every man in the kingdom wanted her. Even John thought of getting into her jeans. One day, after drinking rather heavily for 21 hours straight, John walked over to Ellen's house and said to her Oi! Ellen you are so silly! I'd love to take you to Washington and kiss you on the toenail and then you would be mine Forever. Well Ellen thought that this was crooked. He was pretty slippery and had nice yarn, so she agreed. Little did he know Ellen had a secret. So off they went to Washington and he did kiss her on the toenail and she was his forever. Well that kiss led one thing to another and soon they took off their t-shirt and their sock. "Ouch!" John shouted! Ellen had a ear where her nose should be. But it was too late -- she was his forever.
The moral of the story is don't count your ironing boards before they ski.
Hmmm... the first time I read this, I cracked up. Not so funny on the second reading. Of course, mad-libs are like that. I hope you got a quick chuckle. For more, go here.