Yet Another Benefit To Living Alone

Yet another benefit to living alone: the ability to snack on chives without anyone complaining about your breath.

Mmmm! Window chives!

Note to self: Brush teeth many times before dinner with mom tomorrow.

Miscellany

The last two nights we've had spectacular lightening shows. Last night even came with baseball sized hail in parts of the city. Tonight we're forecast for more of the same. (Lightening and rain, that is... hopefully no more hail! Although the person whose shed burned to the ground would probably prefer no more lightening too.)

I've got a weird, twitchy-congested feeling tonight. I just took some Tylenol, thinking I'm getting a headache... but I think I'll go add a decongestant as well.

Today I went grocery shopping. I only had a partial grocery shopping list (I hadn't planned on going grocery shopping when I visited my folks, but the offer of a car was there, and it was before the after-work crowd would be out), and no deadline, so I wandered the store, looking for other options of what to eat. I've been eating too much of the same stuff, and need to introduce some variety. Since I have a habit of coming up with great "recipes", cooking them for a while, and then forgetting them, I'm going to try to document my successes here... that way, when I need inspiration again, I can use my "recipe" tag.

Tonight's "recipe" is pretty simple. It combines "fresh" pasta ravioli, with a "sauce" technique taught to me by a former boyfriend. Plus some feta that's been in the fridge way too long, but apparently the brine has preserved it.

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Spinach Ravioli with Garlic and Feta
Ingredients:
one 350 g package of Olivieri Spinach and Cheese Ravioli
a generous pour of olive oil
half a *head* of garlic
a scoop of cubed feta

Cook the ravioli according to the directions on the package. Chop the garlic into tiny pieces. (If your garlic has been in the fridge too long, as mine has, remove the sprouted centres... I've heard these can be bitter.) In a small pot, pour in a small pool of olive oil, and add the garlic. Turn the garlic on low. Gradually increase the temperature on the garlic until it starts to get that lovely, nutty smell. At this point, the ravioli should be done. Drain the ravioli, then add the garlic to it. (Add a bit of ravioli to the garlic pan and swirl around to make sure you get all the garlic and oil.) Add the cubed feta. Toss and serve.

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Mmmmm! And I have leftovers for lunch tomorrow!!! (Unless, of course, it succumbs to a midnight snack...)

In other news, I have *cable* tv! (Did I tell you that already? I let them hook me up when they offered me two months free, plus six months at about $30... after that, I'll either go down a level, or cancel and go back to my antenna. I can cancel whenever I want at no charge.) I can watch in *focus* now! And in *colour*! (I sometimes had trouble getting rid of enough snow to get colour on one of my channels.) I must admit, though... it seems rather freaky, getting so many channels on my TV. It's like I'm at my mom's *and* at home at the same time! ;)

Thursday night I watched two shows on the History Channel. :) Late last night I discovered, however, that I couldn't tape a different channel than what I was watching! Disaster! Friday nights have two shows on at the same time that I like to watch! However, this afternoon I got everything re-hooked up with a little help from tech support. Ahhhh! (Heh... he said that the downside was that I could only tape non-digital channels this way... given that I can tape *way* more than I could off the antenna, I'm not complaining!)

I have the windows open. Leaving the AC on for several days in a row, it gets *really* dry in here. It's cooled off enough outside that it's not too bad with the windows open. (It's rather too humid, but I'm okay with that for now.) If I close the windows, it'll get stuffy in here. It's not hot enough to justify using the AC. What time do you suspect I'll have to get up tonight to close the windows for the rain? Blech. I think I'll try closing them most of the way, and hopefully it won't get too stuffy that way.

I currently have three or four settings on my windows: stick (maximally open), pen (medium opening), wine cork (minimally open), and closed.

I have a great idea for window settings, and have half of what I need (dowels)... but I'm having trouble finding the rest (pieces of wood). Perhaps I'll have to get dad to rip some lumber for me. My idea is to take a piece of wood (about 1" x 1.?" x height), and drill holes along the length, into which I'll insert a 6" piece of dowel at the height I want the window open. That piece of dowel will then be able to support both the inside and outside window panes. (The inside ones are mostly self-supporting, but having the extra length there is easy.)

*yawn*! Time for bed. (Possibly after sneaking a ravioli or two...)

Fishing

Last night, the CBC evening news mentioned plentyoffish.com, a free online dating website. I thought I'd give it a try. Of course, writing a profile is always challenging. For those of you who know me, how would you describe me? Would you mind if I quoted you anonymously? (You can respond by e-mail if you prefer.)

Oh, the irony...

There is a student who has been plaguing me. He's thick as a brick, and rude. (I've even resorted to writing my sentences on the board, explaining which verbs act on which nouns, and asking if he understands all of the words. He makes my ADD student look good.) He's been asking for extra tutoring, and I've been playing hard to get. (Extra yarn money is nice, but not when I have to wring water from stone.) I've even given him lists of potential tutors, plus one with a recommendation from my regular student.

He still wants *me*.

Perhaps I need to try these techniques on guys who show boyfriend potential. (Should I ever find some of those...)

S.A.D. (Public Service Announcement)

To those of you who are happily in love, congratulations, and have a wonderful Valentines Day. However, this is to notify you that today is also S.A.D.: Singles Awareness Day. Singles generally find Valentines Day to be a particularly lonely day, so please take a moment to spread a little joy to them. Give a single in your life a phone call, or perhaps even chocolate or a pretty flower.

This ends your public service announcement.

I'm feeling pretty good today, even though I'm single two years and counting now. It's lovely and sunny out, so I think I'll go have a shower now, grab my skates, and skate around the Forks this afternoon. (The river trails are still closed due to last week's rain, but apparently the small rink and land trails are fine.) Perhaps I'll even take myself out for pancakes, should the happy couples have left a table free. ;)

B is for Blanket, C is for Colour

B is for Blanket, C is for Colour

Since I'm behind on the ABC Along (I was supposed to have B posted by yesterday), I thought I'd try to get ahead by posting two letters today. ;) (Uh, yeah... this combined post is intentional, yeah... ;) )

I've been working on this blanket for about a year and a half now, I think. Yes, that's pretty close. I was dating J when I started, so my goal was to make this fit a queen sized bed. This was going to be "our" blanket, rather than "my" blanket.

I've been single again for around a year now, so I've been debating whether I should continue with the original queen-sized plans, or scale down to a twin. I'm getting close to where I'll need to make a decision. Will I ever be sleeping in something larger than a twin bed? Will it happen before this blanket wears out? Who knows. I can always make it big, and then use it folded... although having it the right size will be nicer. Perhaps I should just go for twin.

Although this blanket was going to be for two, I have not let my break-up poison my opinion of this WIP. I will still love it, both working on it, and when it is done.

B is for blanket, C is for colour. I love colour, and I love this blanket. Scraps of sock yarn have been kindly donated to me, allowing this blanket to grow and blossom faster than I can crochet socks myself. (Fast though that may be.) This blanket is full of the kindness of friends, and the kindness of strangers. Since I got a box of scraps from Shelly, who received scraps from many strangers, I will never know the source of all the squares. But I will know they are knitters (and crocheters), and that they will kindly donate yarn to people they don't know, so that every last scrap has a home. This is a blanket of love, even if it's only love for one. It's bright colours will one day be wrapped around me like a big hug.

I love this blanket. I love colour.

SWF seeks Prince Charming with which to live Happily Ever After

I'm just not cut out for life as a recluse. Although knitting in front of the TV is nice, too much of a good thing makes it less good. It's especially not-good when it's done alone. Between my folks being away (they're back later this week! yay!), my best local friend having been swept off her feet this summer and thus has no time for me (don't get me wrong, I'm super happy for her, it just inconveniences me), and H's son having a nasty virus keeping them both home, I've had waaaaay too much time to be alone. More friends would be good, but to be frank, I'm also rather tired of being single.

So. What am I looking for in my knight in shining armour? Let me think.

I think I prefer comfortably-broken-in armour to shining. Shining implies a bit too much emphasis on the surface than the substance. The horse can be white, black, brown, dapple grey... anything, really. (I've always thought palominos look rather odd, but my fondness for horses is too much to hold that against them.)

Locality: local. Long-distances didn't help the last two relationships (hrm... make that four, which would be all of them, including the one that barely counts), and I really could do with less heartbreak.

Ethnicity: I don't care about skin colour (although I hate to admit that I generally have problems getting past the *yellow*-hair-*pink*-skin combination), but I think I'd prefer a Canadian, or someone like a Canadian.

Principles: Honest. No stealing candy from babies nor lying on your taxes. Now, I don't want you to walk up to a stranger and tell them you think their manner of dress is stupid, but be honest where it counts.
• Kind. I'm not looking for a bad boy to reform.
• Chivalry is okay, but know that I am Woman, I am Strong! Except when I need a shoulder to cry on, and then I'm very weak. I need a shoulder who is kind, understanding, and will hold me while I cry. (No matter how stupid whatever I'm crying about is. I probably know that, but that doesn't stop the need for the cry.)
• The ability to look beyond the surface. A person is more than their net worth, their clothing, their job.
• Understanding. The ability to put yourself in someone else's shoes.

Religion: Athiest, or mildly agnostic. Although I'm generally fine with my friends being religious (as long as they don't preach at me, or go all glassy-eyed-god-is-great in my presence), I honestly don't think I could tolerate the feeling of being preached at whenever we're together. I especially can't tolerate the type of religion that tries to interfere with science class or causes intolerance towards others. (And yes, I can see the irony in saying I can't tolerate intolerance.)

Smoking: Defintitely NOT! This is not negotiable. No recreational drugs either. Social drinking is acceptable, but getting drunk makes me question your motives and intelligence, and makes me sad. I don't like being sad. On the other hand, I don't want a force-my-habit-on-others tea-totaller either. Personally, I generally don't drink, but I also don't have a problem when others do.

Communication: Open, and able to express yourself. I'm not a mind reader. I need to you to tell me if something is bothering you. In fact, I need to know that I can count on you to do so, so that I'm not paranoid that there's something about me that you don't like but are unwilling to tell me. (I'm not saying I'll change for you, but I need to know, and know that you're not holding back.)

Humour: Yes, but not a tell-the-same-joke-to-every-person-you-meet type. Especially not if I'm with you every time... it was funny the first time, but it gets old really fast. The ability to understand irony and puns is a bonus, given my sense of humour. No intentionally cruel humour. (See Kind.)

Intelligence: Much preferred, but not the know-it-all type. More important than knowledge, though, is the willingness and ability to learn.

Activity level: Preferrably in the light range, but existing range. I prefer a stroll in the woods rather than a 25 mile hike, or a two-hour paddle to a multi-day-portage-including canoe trip. However, I prefer snorkelling to burning oneself on the beach, and prefer walking tours over bus tours. I am fond of relaxation, but I need *some* activity. I just don't handle the really strenuous stuff well. (Especially if it involves carrying heavy items, sweating, and no daily showers.) Smaller amounts of strenuous exercise is fine as long as water that I don't have to carry is available, and showers quickly follow.

Age: Preferrably not too far different than my own.

Of course, I reserve the right to add to and/or change this list. ;)

So... do any of you know any nice, single guys who fit this description?

Blue Happiness

I washed the new jeans yesterday, and they did not shrink three sizes, disintegrate, nor spontaneously combust. I am so happy! So now my hot ass and I are off to the frozen section of the grocery store to find single guys and easily-prepared meals.

Note: poetic licence was taken in the last paragraph. I do not have a hot ass (with or without the new blue jeans), and I'd be way too chicken to approach a single guy in the freezer section. However, I do somehow feel sexy (or at least sexier) in my non-ratty, fitting-properly jeans, and a date would be much appreciated. (For the company even more than the meal that I wouldn't have to prepare.)

Strange

Why did AdSense think I needed fixing earlier this month?

Also... gmail has been marking some of my e-mails as spam. :( It seems to have taken a dislike to J especially. Bad gmail!

Mostly Better

I had a pretty good day. Thank you for your support. J isn't a bastard... it's possible for two people to break up, one (or more) to be hurt and/or sad, and neither party to be a bastard.

Chick Flicks

I still can't watch them. Especiallly not when they're set in New York. One of the other girls staying at the res wanted to watch "Hitch" tonight. Before we were a half hour in I could tell I shouldn't be watching it, but knew it was already too late.

*sigh*

Hitch filmed in places that J and I walked. There was the walkway along the Hudson River. I recognized the little marina where they rented the seadoos. (Not that I think you can normally rent seadoos there.) There was the rice pudding restaurant with the funny window that J and I walked past in Soho. There was another area that looked familiar... I think it's Greenwich Village. Then there was a scene with a grey Mini. Now, J's is yellow (although both had the white mirrors and roof), and J's doesn't have the air intake on the hood... but still. Minis remind me of him. And the guys opened the car doors for the ladies, just like J did for me.

While I'm feeling all sappy and teary-eyed anyway, here's photos from my romantic walk through New York with J, the day before I left from my last trip to visit J there. It was a day or two after Thanksgiving, when all the Christmas decorations were either up or going up. (The tree-lighting didn't happen until the following Tuesday or Wednesday, if I remember correctly.) I mean to post these quite a while ago, but never felt I had a big enough chunk of time to devote to writing just how romantic it was, and describing everything we did. And then, well, we broke up, and it was too painful. Swatchy is in some of these photos, because I originally planned to post there as well. Well, I'm not going to write my big sappy posts now... I hope J's new girlfriend appreciates J. He's wonderful. On to New York...


This bakery in New York has the *best* hot chocolate I've ever had. It's like hot chocolate pudding with the most amazing homemade marshmallow... *nothing* like the nasty store-bought type.


If I remember correctly, this was a peek at the Empire State Building.

When you're in love, the New York Public Library is incredibly romantic. J shared his favourite things about the library with me. It was wonderful.




Leading up to Christmas time, the streets get considerably more crowded:





Did I mention that New York with J was my own personal chick flick? Too bad mine didn't have a happy ending. It was great while it lasted, though.








I love Christmas and Christmas decorations. I got to see the traditional decorations of New York with J. It was magical.




Thank you, J, for a magical time.

Miscellany

I am once again looking after my dad's dog, Nicky. As of yesterday. I had told dad I wouldn't agree to it unless my brother was happy. Apparently he's happy. Strange!

Yesterday afternoon I *really* needed a nap. However, Nicky apparently really needed some lovin' in the form of a walk, and was broadcasting it to the entire neighbourhood. *sigh* Half an hour into the walk I noticed that he was really panting a lot, so decided to take him home to get some water. (Usually when we walk, he can snap up some snow... but the snow is all gone now.) He alternated gulping water and lying down. He didn't seem to want to walk any more, and in fact went into his kennel. I got my nap!

I pre-filled one book worth of enumerating forms while watching Grey's Anatomy last night. (This enumerating is really cutting into the knitting time... but is also producing low-guilt yarn money, so I'm not complaining.) I still have one more book to pre-fill. I'm thinking of taking it over and doing it in Nicky's yard before our walk... in the hopes that he'll calm down somewhat *before* we start to walk, and also perhaps so that he doesn't get the idea that "barking=walk". I don't know how successful I'll be, but it's worth the chance. After I'm done walking him I'll go out enumerating again. I get home around 4, which is a bit early for most people to be home. And since I mosly just have second visits now, I figure waiting until after 5 is a good idea.

Grey's was good, but left me feeling rather remorseful... well, that's not quite the right word. More lonely, and missing what I used to have. I had a nice talk with J afterwards. I'm glad that we're still friends. He's dating someone else now... which makes me sad for me, but happy for him. I want him to be happy. He's a really nice guy, and deserves it.

I think I might be getting some athlete's foot. I hate that. I've switched to sandals in the hopes of heading that off, but I don't really have good everyday sandals at the moment. Last fall my Birkenstocks were so decrepit I threw them out, and my other cushy leather sandals have *huge* cracks in the soles... which are only really a problem when it rains. I have two pair of Tevas, but the pair that's good with socks doesn't have good arch support, and the pair with good arch support doesn't really work with socks. Time to go sandal shopping. I hate sandal shopping... it's hard finding a comfortable pair that looks respectable and won't fall apart right away. Plus the fact that decent sandals are expensive (~$100). Oh well... time to bite the bullet. This is a necessary expense... I can't go barefoot after all.

I'm Shrinking!

Met with the therapist today. Nothing exciting... typical first visit where I give him my history. You know, when giving my history, I'm rather impressed that I'm not more of a basket case than I am. ;)

Other thought: next time I give my history, I should tape it. Then I can skip past all future "first visits" by just providing the latest shrink with the tape to review before hand. They're all the same anyway. Well... this time I got to toss in an ex-boyfriend. Perhaps the history tape will require addenda.

Next shrinking is scheduled for two weeks from today.

Funerals Are Sad

Man... I know how devastated I was recently when I broke up with J... I can only imagine how my friend feels about losing his wife. She wasn't quite 33... way too young to die!

Unsurprisingly, I'm in a bit of a funk tonight.

Sadness

Well, that fragile shell of happiness cracked tonight. I'm bawling again over having broken up with J. I feel a little strange writing this here. I don't care what strangers think of me, I appreciate the support of my friends, but J also still reads this. (Hi J. I wonder if Dave has stopped reading this yet? Whatever. I don't care.) It kind of feels like I'm gossiping about J when I know it'll get back to him, but I'm not planning to gossip about him... I'm just hoping that writing out my feelings will help me settle down so that I can sleep. I would tell him my feelings any time he asked, so it's not like I'm spilling secrets here either.

I know I'll be okay. It's just hard, and really sad. I really thought he was the one. I was so happy-in-love with him, it's hard to lose him.

I'm listening to Simon and Garfunkel. It's music I associate with J. Just like I associate the Corries with a previous ex-boyfriend. I don't know why I have to spoil good music by associating it with exes, but that seems to happen. Well, with the previous two, at least. I still enjoy the music, it's just hard not to remember sad things when listening to the music.

Speaking of music and exes, here's some lyrics to a song I learned from a previous ex, and mirrors a bit how I feel:

Nobody likes me, everybody hates me,
Guess I'll go eat worms,
Long, thin, slimy ones; Short, fat, juicy ones,
Itsy, bitsy, fuzzy wuzzy worms.

Now, I know that's not true... people do like me, few (if any?) hate me, and there's no way I'm going to eat worms. I just feel abandoned. I know that's not true either, but when are feelings ever logical? *sigh*

I wish my nose didn't get so stuffed up when I cry.

Dad and I did take Nicky for a short walk today. It would have been longer, but I still wasn't really dressed for the colder weather.

*sigh*... I'm not settling down, so I guess I'll just try lying in bed again.