Sunday, October 14, 2007

SWF seeks Prince Charming with which to live Happily Ever After

I'm just not cut out for life as a recluse. Although knitting in front of the TV is nice, too much of a good thing makes it less good. It's especially not-good when it's done alone. Between my folks being away (they're back later this week! yay!), my best local friend having been swept off her feet this summer and thus has no time for me (don't get me wrong, I'm super happy for her, it just inconveniences me), and H's son having a nasty virus keeping them both home, I've had waaaaay too much time to be alone. More friends would be good, but to be frank, I'm also rather tired of being single.

So. What am I looking for in my knight in shining armour? Let me think.

I think I prefer comfortably-broken-in armour to shining. Shining implies a bit too much emphasis on the surface than the substance. The horse can be white, black, brown, dapple grey... anything, really. (I've always thought palominos look rather odd, but my fondness for horses is too much to hold that against them.)

Locality: local. Long-distances didn't help the last two relationships (hrm... make that four, which would be all of them, including the one that barely counts), and I really could do with less heartbreak.

Ethnicity: I don't care about skin colour (although I hate to admit that I generally have problems getting past the *yellow*-hair-*pink*-skin combination), but I think I'd prefer a Canadian, or someone like a Canadian.

Principles: Honest. No stealing candy from babies nor lying on your taxes. Now, I don't want you to walk up to a stranger and tell them you think their manner of dress is stupid, but be honest where it counts.
• Kind. I'm not looking for a bad boy to reform.
• Chivalry is okay, but know that I am Woman, I am Strong! Except when I need a shoulder to cry on, and then I'm very weak. I need a shoulder who is kind, understanding, and will hold me while I cry. (No matter how stupid whatever I'm crying about is. I probably know that, but that doesn't stop the need for the cry.)
• The ability to look beyond the surface. A person is more than their net worth, their clothing, their job.
• Understanding. The ability to put yourself in someone else's shoes.

Religion: Athiest, or mildly agnostic. Although I'm generally fine with my friends being religious (as long as they don't preach at me, or go all glassy-eyed-god-is-great in my presence), I honestly don't think I could tolerate the feeling of being preached at whenever we're together. I especially can't tolerate the type of religion that tries to interfere with science class or causes intolerance towards others. (And yes, I can see the irony in saying I can't tolerate intolerance.)

Smoking: Defintitely NOT! This is not negotiable. No recreational drugs either. Social drinking is acceptable, but getting drunk makes me question your motives and intelligence, and makes me sad. I don't like being sad. On the other hand, I don't want a force-my-habit-on-others tea-totaller either. Personally, I generally don't drink, but I also don't have a problem when others do.

Communication: Open, and able to express yourself. I'm not a mind reader. I need to you to tell me if something is bothering you. In fact, I need to know that I can count on you to do so, so that I'm not paranoid that there's something about me that you don't like but are unwilling to tell me. (I'm not saying I'll change for you, but I need to know, and know that you're not holding back.)

Humour: Yes, but not a tell-the-same-joke-to-every-person-you-meet type. Especially not if I'm with you every time... it was funny the first time, but it gets old really fast. The ability to understand irony and puns is a bonus, given my sense of humour. No intentionally cruel humour. (See Kind.)

Intelligence: Much preferred, but not the know-it-all type. More important than knowledge, though, is the willingness and ability to learn.

Activity level: Preferrably in the light range, but existing range. I prefer a stroll in the woods rather than a 25 mile hike, or a two-hour paddle to a multi-day-portage-including canoe trip. However, I prefer snorkelling to burning oneself on the beach, and prefer walking tours over bus tours. I am fond of relaxation, but I need *some* activity. I just don't handle the really strenuous stuff well. (Especially if it involves carrying heavy items, sweating, and no daily showers.) Smaller amounts of strenuous exercise is fine as long as water that I don't have to carry is available, and showers quickly follow.

Age: Preferrably not too far different than my own.

Of course, I reserve the right to add to and/or change this list. ;)

So... do any of you know any nice, single guys who fit this description?


Knitting Mama said...

Unfortunately I know none of those in Winnipeg :(

Liz said...

My problem also, I think you're the only person in Winnipeg I "know."

You don't mention it, but what do you think of guys who've been divorced? Guys with kids?

Knittah said...

I think this is a fantastic list!!!! And I met my husband through a personal as he placed in the newspaper (it was a long time ago). Maybe you should place an ad? Canadians seem so nice and upstanding, there's got to be someone who meets your criteria and then some.

Lucia said...

Nice list! I would marry that guy. Oh, I guess I did. Sadly, he has no brothers, but I'll keep my eyes open.

noricum said...

The reason for the divorce would factor into whether the guy were "acceptable". Had he been cheating on his wife, no. Mostly, though, I think divorced guys are fine.

I really don't know about kids. I like kids, but the idea of aquiring an instant family is rather daunting. I would have to judge that on a case-by-case basis.

Katy said...

Unfortunately, I know no one who meets those criteria, seeing as I don't know any Canadian men, in any part of Canada.

However, if you happen to find one who is perhaps a bit young for you (or not), meets your criteria but is, oh, say, in Chicago, I'd take him!

Good luck!

Megalion said...

I like your list, there's little I'd change.

I'm also very single and recently living solo again for the first time in 10 years.

But for me... I'm really enjoying the soloness because my roommate & best friend only moved into another unit 3 doors down from mine and I can pop over and see her almost anytime I want.

Also am close to another neighbor though its been a while since I've hung out with him but knowing he's there is security for me. It's a 9 unit building and I know everyone in it and am friendly with them all.

I just don't know how to meet guys and am afraid of the getting to know them process ... ie dating.

Sitting at home with my dogs and yarn and watching movies on my big TV is often the most appealing idea to me.

Maybe I'll get my fill of living solo again after a couple more months.

noricum said...

Megalion: It sure sounds like you have a nice situation with friends so close. If I had that, it wouldn't be so lonely. I hear you though, on not knowing how to meet guys and being afraid of getting to know them. Tomorrow I'm going to experiment. The knitting group meets at a big bookstore, so I'm going to hang out there after I'm done school until when the meeting starts (with a break to forage for food, of course), to see if meeting guys in a big bookstore is a possibility. I'm definitely not the bar type, and I don't think my type of guy would likely be found there, either. A guy who likes books, on the other hand...

suec said...

great list and good luck at the book store. can i adapt your list so it would be a nice guy around here for me?

noricum said...

suec: Sure, go ahead. Good luck. ;)

(Man, I have a lot of competition!)

Vik said...

I enjoyed reading this post! I´m sorry but I don´t know any guy like that... I tell you, I prefer being alone again rather than wasting time with the wrong one.
Please let us know, if something exciting happened at the bookstore!

Misstea said...

Um, I've always been concerned with the idea of "happily ever after." Nobody's ever heard of the sequel about how the princess get tired of picking Charming's socks off the floor and being ignored while the game is on.

Sorry, that sounded a wee bit pessimistic.

The thing I've learned, when meeting people, is that you have to look them in the eye and smile. It works in business, and it works personally. I've only ever been alone when I've wanted to be. And sometimes, you have to take a chance. Some of my happiest times in a relationship were with grossly inappropriate people. But, I am richer for it.

That said, good on you for having standards. I've also had relationships where I have not been richer for the experience.

One of these days, I will get out to one of those bookstore knit nights.

noricum said...

I don't mind picking up socks if he does the cooking & dishes. (My last boyfriend did... and he was a *great* cook!) And I don't mind having some "separate time" too, as long as it's not all sports all the time. :P