Miscellany

When the doctor or nurse tells you that something they're about to spray in your mouth tastes foul, they *mean* it. The nurse described it as tasting like extremely rotten bananas. It was more like "OMGWTFBlechAwful!!!" with an aftertaste of bananas... and then a sensation like your throat is swelling up, and you are going to finally experience anaphylactic shock. (The fact that I have a mild allergy to bananas, and they had already put a plastic oxygen tube in my nostrils that smelled like plastic I'm allergic to didn't help.) However, the sensation is misleading, and I didn't die. Also, once I confirmed that I was, in fact, breathing just fine, all initial panic subsided. It was amusing that the spray to prevent you from gagging later does make you gag when being applied.

I was considerably less groggy from the woozy-juice than the other people I saw staggering out earlier. I even remember watching the monitor for parts of the procedure, but I do think I was sort of out of it. However, I was good, and did avoid operating machinery (including stoves) or signing legal documents. ;)

Unsurprisingly, shoving a pipe down ones throat and taking biopsies does indeed leave one with a bit of a sore throat. The doc didn't see anything (so I don't get any nifty pictures), but hopefully the biopsies will provide some answers as to why I sometimes have trouble swallowing.

In the news:

1. Recently I've heard on the radio that someone is (once again?) circulating a petition that Sesame Street allow Bert and Ernie to get married (to each other). Personally, although I can possibly imagine Bert as being gay, I always saw the two of them as brothers, and wondered where their parents were. (They didn't seem old enough to be living on their own, and they look so similar.) Sesame Street is saying they're just friends/roommates, and don't have sexual orientations. What's you're opinion? Gay, brothers, or friends?

2. One of the new Winnipeg Jets players committed suicide. (The death was reported as "sudden, no foul play suspected, and he suffered from depression".) Depression is a serious disease, not something to be ashamed of. If you have it, please get help. (You wouldn't expect someone with cancer to "just snap out of it", would you?) If you know someone with depression, please encourage them to get help.

3. Neti pots can KILL YOU!!!!! Well... maybe. *One* person who lives in the South, and used plain tap water got a funky brain-burrowing amoeba. I use distilled water, as recommended. Blowing your nose can kill you too, but that doesn't stop me. ;) (I'll save my worries for crossing the street, and similarly dangerous daily activities.)

WTF

I've had a string of annoyances today.

First: I have an appointment next week where I'm supposed to stop my vitamins a week before. My antidepressants aren't working as well without the help from the B Stress supplement. I tried eating a banana at my mom's yesterday, but that didn't help.

I suspect my headache today is because I stopped taking my magnesium supplement. (Frequent headaches is the reason I take that one.)

Then, when I synced my iPod, it decided to remove all of my podcasts from the iPod. Some fiddling got them back.

When I went to cook dinner after washing dishes, I accidentally turned on the wrong element... heating up an empty pot that was drying, rather than the pot full of water. (I don't think it did any real damage, but there is some discoloration.)

Then, when I was done listening to a podcast, the dock didn't want to switch back to the radio function. (Unplugging it cleared that, but meant I had to reset the clock... I need to get a 9V battery for it.)

Time to go to bed. Hopefully tomorrow will be better. At least my mood is a bit better at the moment, and my headache has stopped.

O Crappy Day

I have no idea why or what's up, but it feels like my antidepressants aren't working today. Nothing is actually going wrong, it's just an ordinary day. I figure I'll put on a normal face, and just plow through. (How is it that my dictionary doesn't have "plow" in it?)

Coping

To combat my rough day, I prescribed chocolate, mind-numbing TV, and knitting.


Two rows of the Divine orange milk chocolate, two thirds (so far) of the Cocoa Camino caramel crunch, and one square of the Denman Island holy mole (fiery!).

TV: CSI NY, Criminal Minds, and Bones (taped, I didn't get home until after 8:30). I also caught the first half of The Daily Show before I turned the TV off.

Knitting: I finished the tip of the thumb on the thrummed mittens I'm making for a neighbour-friend... she saw mine just before Christmas.

Awesome timing, I know. She's old, but in good health. Hopefully she'll get several seasons of wearing out of these.

After weaving in the last two ends on the mittens, I started the toque I'm making for my brother as a birthday present:

It's Trilobite, from Knitty. I bought the yarn in December or January. His birthday was in early April. Awesome timing with this too, huh? At least I'll be able to slip the ribbing onto a circular needle cable, so he can test the size before he heads off to California for the summer.

Oh... and while waiting for the bus on my way home, I wove in the last end of the sweater I've been working on for ages. I present two bad timer photos, without and with flash:

Perhaps I'll find someone to point my camera at me tomorrow in better light.

Now the question is, do I go for eight hours of sleep, or an all-night marking session? (If someone has a spare time-turner they can loan me, I'd love to do both.) Late night marking doesn't produce good progress (ask me how I know), but it's half the problem that's making me feel like crap. (The other half is the reviews that just came back from the fall course.)

On the up-side for today: I helped two students with their problems, and they were both appreciative, and think I'm awesome. (Too bad that's a half-time, temporary, dead-end job.)

Pain

Grumpy: my knee hurts, in a band above the kneecap, and down behind the kneecap. I'm not sure if it's the wacky weather, or if I actually injured it... either by going for daily walks, or by walking through the snow. *sigh*

This morning I was in a fantastic mood. (I think it helps that I got to sleep in, and woke up to the sun shining down on me.) Three hours in the help centre with students that weren't "getting it" wore me down, though. By the end of the day, I *needed* a nap. So I went home and had one. Now I need to get more work done before I can go to bed. *sigh*

It would be nice if my knee would stop hurting. I hope it's not the walks... I like the walks, and I think they're helping me lose a bit of weight. (Not that I've stepped on a scale, but my pants are loosening a bit.)

Whiny

I'm having one of those days where I wish I was tucked in bed. Yesterday afternoon and evening I felt "kind of ugh". This morning, I really didn't want to get out of bed. Right now I'm getting some flashes of feeling weepy, I'm shivering, I have a headache, and I think my sinuses are funny. (I think it's the sinuses that are causing the headache.) I'm not "sick"... but I sure wish I was back in bed. I'm not sure if I'm coming down with something, if I'm just being lazy, or if it's stress.

I almost wish I was sick, and so could justifiably be in bed. :(

Le *Sigh*

Tonight I feel a kinship with Pepé Le Pew, although what I feel is in no way similar to his unrequited love. I feel... morose? Hmm, no. I just looked up the definition of that in some online dictionaries, and gloomy/sulky does not describe how I feel. (How have I misunderstood morose for so long?) It's like I have a profound sadness in my soul, but not despair. Perhaps my antidepressants are keeping it enough at bay? I do believe I need more sleep.

Another prof at work mentioned suffering from sleep-deprivation-induced snippiness.

No, I am not yet prepared for class tomorrow. Another late night. Le *sigh*...

:(

Woke up this morning during a soul-wrenching dream. It had gone on for over an hour, because I woke up from it an hour earlier too. I want to curl in a little ball, cry, and hide from the world... but missing the first day of class wouldn't look too good.

I don't have time now... perhaps I'll tell you about the dream after class. It's something that would probably sound weird to you: developing of the land around my family's cabin. (What's even more silly is that that won't happen unless the current laws change, and so it's something I shouldn't be worried about!)

I suspect the dream is a result of going to bed stressed.

Well, off to catch the bus.

Stuff

My grandma D died this morning. She had Alzheimer's, and has been "gone" for years... so it's a mercy. But it's still sad. I'm glad that my third grandma is still doing reasonably well. (Grandma M died a number of years ago now.)

I felt kind of like moping around home all day, but made myself go out and enjoy some sunshine (finally some decent weather) and then go play with clay. My first piece had it's first firing, so I painted glaze on it, and then made three sets of buttons. I didn't feel like doing anything involving more effort.

I'll be teaching a class this fall. It's not the one I was hoping to teach (intro to programming), but similar to one that I didn't really do well at the first time (known to the local students as "computer useless"). I'm hoping to learn how to teach this course effectively. Plus I'll earn enough to replace my laptop, and I won't be leaving the department scrambling to find a replacement for the person they had intended to do the job. (The grad student initially offered the job decided not to take the position.) Of course, it's possible they just made the offer because they knew I could use the money.

Another benefit of taking the job is that I will have sufficient hours this year to guarantee my benefits for another year. (Assuming continuing employment in my other position, of course.)

Of course, now that I know that I can replace my laptop... do I wait until I've actually earned the money, or do I take advantage of the iPod deal going on now, use my savings, and replace the money as it comes in? I *am* going to get more RAM now, to make my current laptop more functional. (When I have two, I'll leave my old one at the office, and my new one at home, reducing stress on each, and making my backpack lighter.) I suppose I could consider a desktop for home. I suspect I'll put off the new computer purchase just so that I can decide *what* I want. (Plus, that'll let me test how much better my current laptop performs once it has more RAM.)

I had to prune several more branches off the maple in front of mom's... the stupid kids from the townhouse keep treating it like a jungle gym, and the branches and bark are just too soft for that kind of treatment.

It's nice that there's been some lovely days lately. Of course, we keep getting drenching downpours separating them, so that I can't dig more of the garden yet.

Mrs C planted more plants in front. I think she thinks this is a competition. If I liked her better, I'd actually talk to her and explain things... and ask if she'd like some space left for her to plant. I'll just garden around what she plants, and move them later in the fall when I put everything in their final spots. (I think she planted one of the flowers that is basically an invasive weed, though, and I haven't decided what to do about that.)

When I went outside today, I sat in the sun for a bit and read the library books that are due Thursday. The sun was quite hot, and since I wasn't interested in burning, I moved over to the shade fairly quickly. I was going to continue reading in the shade, but the caretaker came over, and we chatted for a while. Hopefully I'll get them read tomorrow. They're still "new and noted", and, as such, I suspect that there's more people on the waiting list. (I had to wait for a while myself... and if there's someone waiting, you can't renew.)

Well, it's getting late. I think I'll post this, check the renewals, then read a bit before bed. Good night!

Grumpy

Harumph. For some reason I'm grumpy. The day started off lovely, but in the last couple of hours my mood went south. I'm grumping at a student, which is not good. (I'm not actually grumping at him, but I think perhaps I'm also not putting the same effort into gaining his understanding that I otherwise might.) *sigh* An hour and a half to go, and then I won't have to worry about whether I'm grumpy until Monday afternoon. Not that I'll stay grumpy that long, but that I won't have to worry about my ability to explain while grumpy.

Yay! I apparently managed to successfully explain something, even while grumpy. :) (Whether or not I managed to explain it in a way that will be memorable in the exam, I don't know. I normally want to *teach* for understanding, rather than just get past the current program bug.)

*sigh* He keeps saying "okay", but I don't think he really understands.

Knitpicks sent out another pretty e-mail. I went over, and added a whole bunch of things to my cart... which brought it up around $170. Then I clicked "save for later" until it got down to around $100. Then I was good, and put the rest in "save for later" and closed the window.

I want to watch some short YouTube videos, but I'm allowing a student to work in my office between questions... and sound would probably disturb him. (I don't want to use headphones.) I'm not in a lab, this is my "office", and he's here because I let him be here... and yet I don't want to disturb him with my goofing off. (There's nothing wrong with a bit of goofing off between when I'm needed, and I stop the instant someone has another question.)

Grump. I wonder if it's the gloomy weather, or the fact that I'm not getting true understanding from my student? *sigh*

Miscellany

Feeling anti-social tonight. I had a nice time at knit-night, except for one thing... I showed some stitch markers I had made, and which I was going to ask the shop if they were interested in stocking. The store owner wasn't there, so I passed around a sample to the knitters, to see what they thought. They thought they were cute. I said what the selling price would need to be in order for me to earn minimum wage for my time. The general consensus seemed to be that the price was absolutely outrageous. I can't expect to earn minimum wage, don't be ridiculous. I need to do it for the love of it.

Needless to say, I won't be selling them in the local shop. (I'm not going to bother asking the owner now... much of her clientèle is the knit-night group, and so if they're not going to buy them, they won't sell.) No, I won't consider lowering my prices. I feel that they are well made, and worth the amount. I could make them a faster way, but the quality would drop considerably.

1. I won't sell a product that I would consider inferior and would be disappointed in if I purchased myself.

2. I won't sell a product at a below minimum wage rate simply because people believe it's not worth it. Doing so devalues the item, and also prevents others from earning a reasonable wage for their work.

3. If I'm going to do it "for the love of it", I'll make them for myself, or for gifts... not some unknown buyer.

My income this summer is lower than expected, and so I had wanted to earn a little "fun money". "Love" does not buy yarn, food, or even pay the electric bill.

After I take and post a photo, I'll quiz you on what you think I was asking for them, and what you think they're worth. After I get a few responses, I'll post the answer to the first question, and then compare that price to other items people frequently buy. (Unless you want me to stuff a sock in it, in which case don't post comments with guesses on the photo post.)

The other thing that is getting me occasionally down this week is the downstairs neighbour situation, my dream of one day owning a house and how that's not very practical right now, my unpaid time in August, the fact that I only work half time... basically how I am not where I had imagined I would be by now. (But then, who is?)

*sigh*

Some days I wish I could have a do-over on the last 10 years or so of my life. I feel like a failure.

Today sucked.

I hope your day was better.

Thank you!

Thank you, for all your hugs! I do appreciate both the hugs, and all my online friends. :) (Sometimes I just need someone local, you know?) I thought I should let you know that I'm feeling a lot better today than I was the other day I posted, and one of my friends with commitments has found time to squeeze me in next Friday. :) (I think she likes it as much as I do, but it's all those dang commitments, you know?)

So... today is for laundry, taking down the Christmas decorations and tree (I *know*!), and sewing up some of the things on my list, so that I can put the sewing machine away. Plus dishes... I don't think I've washed them since last Sunday, when I had my previous marathon washing. (At least this time I was able to eat relatively normal meals with the dishes I had.)

If I get the sewing machine put away early enough, I'm going to do a little painting too. (I have to show you the *awesome* easel box my mom and Bob gave me as an early birthday present!!!!)

It would have been nice to go skating too, but at -21C, my dad chickened out, and I have a few too many things to do to go by myself. (If I have other people's schedule to work around, I feel justified in putting off chores. Otherwise I don't.) I did get out last weekend (I'll be posting that on the Swatchy blog soon, I hope), so that was nice. :) My new skates are *wonderful*!

Okay... off to take care of business. (First up, showering and getting dressed. Then I can start the laundry. I enjoy a slow start to my Saturdays.)

I'm Lonely

I'm lonely, and it sucks.

NaSpiMoMo

Zeneedle decided to declare a NaSpiMoMo... "National Spin More Month" for the month of January, and way back in November or December when she was thinking about it, I said I'd join. Given that it's the 20th of January, perhaps it's time to dust off my spinning wheel? ;)

Tonight I wound off the first half of my Piece of Vermont "Grotto" singles:

Then predrafted and started spinning the second half:

Okay, so I didn't get very far... but at least I've started! Part of what slowed me down tonight was the generation (and cleaning up of) the mess in the kitchen:

Bread, dinner, and chocolate chip banana muffins... I've been busy! (No, I have no idea where all this unexpected productivity is coming from. Perhaps my antidepressants are at the right level?)

Although I didn't work on it tonight, here's how the back of the Celtic Knot sweater is looking:


Have you had a good evening?

Owie

Let me tell you, that wasn't the title I was thinking earlier today. I was thinking in much stronger (less family-friendly) words.

The temperatures have been positively balmy this weekend... we even got rain last night. However, it did dip below freezing, and the temperature isn't the only thing that fell.

This morning, even though the highs were predicted to be well above zero, there was a *slick* coating of ice on everything. We were moving the wall units over today. Bob and I loaded one up (only one "fit" in the car at a time), then I grabbed two drawers and headed over to unlock the apartment. Bob was pulling into the parking spot there as I was walking towards the door. However, as I stepped off the snow and onto the sidewalk by the door, my feet flew out from under me. One drawer attempted to break my fall, coming hard between my pavement and my ribs on the right hand side, before I slipped off that and ended up flat on my back.

*pain*

I got up... slowly. In stages, in fact.

*painpainpain*

I unlocked the door. *painpain*

I carried one drawer upstairs, *pain*, unlocked that door, *pain*, and set the drawer out of the way. *painpain* Then I went back downstairs. *painpainpain*

Mom took my place, and helped Bob get the wall unit upstairs. I helped with doors. *painpainpain* I was winded, and hurt so much I was crying... I hurt all the way from the drawer shaped bruise up my ribcage, my shoulder, and my neck on the right hand side. It didn't feel like anything was broken (not that I've felt a broken bone before, thank goodness), but I *hurt*.

I told my folks that I wouldn't be moving anything today, and they concurred. I suggested we leave everything for another day, but they said they'd see if my brother was free. Mom asked if I'd be okay getting home, and I said I would. I asked if they would lock up, and they said they would.

Once I got home I went downstairs and lay on my bed. Mom and Bob got home shortly thereafter. Mom brought down all the cold packs, packed me up, tucked me in, and fed me advil. I lay in the dark with the cold packs until I started to feel chilled, then pushed them away and had a nap. When I got up I did feel better... still battered and bruised, but no longer crying from the pain.

Mom and Bob and my brother, however, kept working. They got all three of the wall units moved, plus my coffee table from Chapel Hill, and all of the smaller plants. (I think mom really wants the plants out.)

Later that day my brother brought me some cartoons:

Yep, those suit me.

When I went over to water the plants and close the windows they had opened (to air the apartment out some more), I took over my laptop to check out whether there were any unsecured networks around. (I was curious.) Even though I put my backpack on my uninjured shoulder, it still hurt to carry it over there and back. (Pushing/pulling the windows shut hurt too.) H is back in the office tomorrow, but I'm planning on staying home. I think I'll give my side another day to recover. This way I can also be home for the furnace repair guy so mom and Bob can go out and run errands, and I think I'll call about setting up phone and internet in my apartment. (And read Saturday's career section from the paper, etc.)

Perhaps I'll line the drawers tomorrow too. Lining drawers is easy work, and is something that needs doing.

*sigh* (and a contest alert at the end)

2:49 and I'm wide awake. Around 1 am I tried reading for a bit to see if that would make me sleepy, but it didn't help. I'm torn between getting up and doing the work I'll be too tired to do tomorrow, or trying to make myself sleep in the hopes of not totally messing up my sleep schedule.

This is probably due to the nap I had today. Around 11 am I was really sleepy, so I had a nap. I semi-woke up several times... the first time I noticed I had a sore throat and a stuffed nose. I was still sleepy, so I slept some more. The second time I felt sick-sweaty. Then I woke several times feeling funky... like I had slept too much, but was still tired... and also possibly like I should eat. I didn't manage to wake up from my nap for real until around 3 pm. (Sheesh, that was a long nap!) After dispelling the low-blood-sugar shakiness, I felt fine the rest of the day. But now I'm paying for it.

What would you do in a similar situation? Work? Try to sleep? Something else?

I have some old Abien, but it's way too late now to take it. I think it may be expired too... I got it back in Chapel Hill, and I remember it not doing much the last time I tried it a month or two ago.

I think tomorrow I'll have to go for a walk whenever I feel sleepy, not nap at all, and hopefully I'll manage to re-synch my sleep schedule to something normal.

Tomorrow evening I'm joining my mom's art club. :) (I feel a bit weird, since it requires me to join the senior center too.)

Wednesday evening is knitting night at Chapters. Yay! I haven't been in *ages*. Mom says I can borrow the car. :)

3:00 am now.

So far the only side effects I'm noticing from Effexor is (1) an increased need to nap... not as bad as the Prozac, but it also means that napping during the day messes up sleeping at night (I've been taking it with dinner... but the need to nap is, of course, still during the day), and (2) I don't feel hungry... I go from not hungry and fine, to not hungry and low-blood-sugar-shakes. I've been eating at the usual times, and try to keep something on hand for those "it turns out I should have eaten something more/longer lasting" times. Sadly, I don't seem to be losing any weight even with the loss of appetite. *sigh* Perhaps if I give it more time?

My mood does seem to be pretty stable, so that's nice.

3:14 am... caught up on the few posts that appeared on bloglines since I first started trying to sleep tonight. Here's a contest for those who are interested. I haven't read the details yet.

*YAWN*

Ugh... I think this new med is indeed making me sleepy. I napped every day this weekend, and this morning in the office too. (I was a zombie.) I'm going to try switching to taking it in the evening, to see if that makes a difference. I'll make the change over two days... tomorrow I'll take it at lunch, and then the next day with dinner. If that doesn't help, I'll be back to the doc before the next scheduled visit.

And this is only at 1/4 of a "theraputic" dose!

A Walk Around Fredericton

I *really* needed a walk at lunch. Why don't you join me through these photos?


I'll be sure to take more photos on other walks... Fredericton is a pretty city.

I ended the walk with an ice cream ("wild blueberry") and some retail therapy:

(Pretty pink bag!!!) The sock yarn is a cotton blend (includes wool, sorry Bron) that I haven't seen before, and thus *had* to try. There were a lot of colour choices at the store. In case you haven't seen it either, here's a close-up of the ball band:


After tax it was only $13.10! Canadian! (They had two colours of Regia Bamboo too, but it was rather pricier... I may decide to try it anyway, just out of curiosity.)

The walk helped, but I'm still feeling kind of lonely or "hide in a dark corner"... anyone have a phone plan where they can call Canada for free? I can send you my office and residence numbers. ;)

PS: Knittah, I didn't have Swatchy with me. I'll take him to the yarn store another time.

Slowly Going Crazy

Two of my crochet projects are trying to drive me crazy. The main culprit is my hat:

It was too big, so I ripped back, reduced the number of increase rows, and tried again. It was still too big, so I ripped back and reduced by two more of the increase rows. Guess what. It's now too small. However, I have a plan to add stitches in the row after the next row... hopefully that will do the trick.

The other crochet project driving me nuts is the hyperbolic plane:

It hasn't needed major ripping... just the occasional spot where I forgot to add the increase after five stitches. However, although I only started with 20 stitches in the first row, I've now reached a mind-numbing 331 stitches per row. Ah, the miracle of compound interest. If only I knew of a bank that offered 20% interest!

I must say... I'm rather tempted to start a charity hat just for something different! Especially since I'll be using heavy worsted yarn on bigger needles. A quick FO might be nice around about now.

Good news on the medical front: I get to go off Prozac. So that's one less way I'm crazy. ;)